


Some Time Alone

by delighted



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-08-12 18:57:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7945534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/delighted/pseuds/delighted
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes, it takes a little time alone to clear your head and figure out what you really want.</p><p>Sometimes it takes someone else figuring it out for you.</p><p>(Set in my fantasy Series Seven. Talk about wish fulfillment......)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Some Time Alone

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JeffreyAlan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JeffreyAlan/gifts).



> Well, this one kind of got away from me.... It started as a chapter of "By Your Side," but I quickly realized it wanted to be more. So, I let it.
> 
> Ordinarily, I would have done this as chapters. But, JeffreyAlan doesn't *like* chapters. He likes to read stuff all at once.... So. All at once it is.
> 
>  
> 
> J, this one's not so much "for" you (really, it wound up being a lot "for" me, which I think you'll see) but it is very much *because* of you. You'll see that, too. It was born from dreams of wish fulfillment, it is thick with threads of conversations, sprinkled with nods and winks, both intentionally and probably unintentionally as well. Having said all that. There is one aspect of this one that is very much "to" you.... Again, no doubt you'll see it clearly. If not, I'll be happy to hit you over the head with it at your earliest convenience....... ;-)

Danny hadn’t heard from Steve in a while, and granted, Steve had taken some much deserved time off, very much deserved, but to be totally honest, Danny’d kind of expected Steve to wind up spending much of that time bugging him, and it wasn’t that he was disappointed that hadn’t happened, really, it wasn’t, but he did worry, of course he did, and having not heard anything in a few days, Danny, perhaps somewhat embarrassingly, decided to attempt some recon.

Steve’s truck was in its usual spot when Danny pulled up, and his total lack of a plan didn’t matter because as soon as he got out of the car he heard guitar music floating across the thick air towards him. Clearly Steve was sitting on the lanai and (Danny could not have hidden his delight at this even if he’d wanted to) practicing the guitar Danny’d given him.

He didn’t  _mean_  to sneak, but that was kind of how it happened... he was just light of foot, okay? Regardless, it wasn’t like he was holding his breath or anything, he just naturally made an attempt to be quiet when... oh, alright. He wanted to hear the music, okay? And, he couldn’t have said why, but he was pretty sure that Steve would stop playing if he saw him. He’d gotten as close as he dared by that point—he could just see Steve’s head around a shrub—and as if Steve had heard the thought, he paused a moment in his playing (and Danny  _did_  hold his breath then) but Steve started playing again, and Danny’s breathing resumed.

He finished the song, then, still holding the guitar, said, very softly: “Danno, I know you’re there. If I promise to play more for you later will you come have a beer with me?”

Danny nearly fell over in shock.

Steve bent down to a cooler at his feet and pulled out two Longboards. He held one out towards Danny, without looking, as if he were attempting to coax a spooked animal from its hiding place.

“Come on, buddy, come sit with me.”

Danny sighed. Heading towards the lanai, he felt pretty sure Steve would be smirking by the time he got there. Sure enough, as he grabbed the beer from Steve’s hand, before Steve had seen him, he swore he could feel the smirk as an electric impulse sliding up his arm.

“So,” Steve began, once Danny was seated. “You enjoy that?”

“You’ve been playing,” Danny stated, somewhat flatly. He was still in shock.

Steve’s smirk broadened. “Yeah, buddy, I’ve been playing.” He paused for a sip of beer, and it was as if Danny could see Steve trying to decide if he wanted to share something. Danny hoped he would. “I’ve been playing kind of a lot, actually.” He looked expectantly at Danny, as if he was waiting to hear what Danny thought of that.

Danny smiled. “That’s great, babe,” and he softened. This, he realized, is what Steve had been doing, why he had been holed up alone. He’d been getting back to playing. Danny knew what that meant. Knew there would have been emotions stirred up that Steve would have had to process, things he had to deal with, to face. Suddenly, Danny realized what else it meant, Steve letting him listen—and then talking about it. Oh my god, talking about it. Was he really going to share this?

But Danny’d intruded on Steve. Had Steve really been ready for that, or was he being pushed to it before he was ready? Danny realized Steve would never be ready, and in the same moment realized he’d probably known Danny would come looking at some point... maybe even hoped for it?

“I wondered what you’d been up to,” Danny started.

Steve smiled. “Yeah?” He asked, trying, badly, to hide the smirk on that. “Miss me, did you?” Danny smirked back, and took a sip of his beer. For some reason, this seemed to make Steve feel he needed to explain his absence. “I just figured you’d like some time away from me, you know, man? You have to put up with me and my trying to get you killed on a daily basis, so I thought it’d be nice for you to have a little break from that.”

“Huh.”

“Huh, what, Danno?”

“That’s really sweet of you, Steve.....” Danny trailed off.

Steve’s head tilted adorably. “.... Do I sense a ‘but’ coming?”

Danny, rather adorably himself, though he wouldn’t have seen it that way, huffed out a small breath, ran a hand through his hair, and shifted in his seat, because the weight of what he was realizing was suddenly making him kind of uncomfortable.

“I’m glad for you to have time alone, away from everything, of course I am, babe. But, not on my account, okay? Don’t ever shut yourself off because of me. I don’t need that.” Steve held back a laugh, which Danny returned with a glare. “I’m serious, babe. If I start thinking you’re doing that, I’ll just worry. Take all the time  _you_  need, but please don’t do it for me.” Because, yeah, okay, Danny complained about Steve a lot, and, yes, especially the “trying to get him killed” thing, I mean, who wouldn’t, but. Really, when it came down to it. Danny took a deep breath. “Just don’t stay away from me because you think I need it, okay? Trust me to do that for myself. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but I am capable of that.”

“No you’re not,” came the soft reply.

“Um. Pardon?”

“You’re not. You think you are, but you’ll always be there, even when it’s not good for you. Even when it means spending less time with your kids, Danny. If you think, for whatever reason, that I ‘need’ you, you will be there in a heartbeat. And, frankly, there is only so much you can take, even I know that. So, yeah, sometimes maybe I do need to step away. Sometimes for my own sake, but yes, Danny, sometimes for yours. Because you will not do that for yourself. How long did it take for you to show up here? Three, almost four days? I think you needed that. At least as much as I did. Probably a whole lot more.”

Danny was, unsurprisingly, even more shocked at this little speech of Steve’s than he had been at his knowledge he’d been hiding in the shrubbery. And he wanted to deny it. Really, so much. But the thing was, and this pained him, but. The thing was,  _Steve was actually right_. If he shut his brain off for just a second, shushed the voices that clamored in his head, he could see, very clearly, that Steve actually was right.

Evidently spurred on by Danny’s continued silence, Steve started talking again. Oddly, this had the effect of stopping Danny’s brain.

“You’re a giver, Danny, you probably always have been, and you don’t know when to stop, and it eats you up. I’m sorry that I didn’t figure that out sooner, learn that sooner, understand it sooner. But you wreck yourself with it, and the rest of us sometimes take advantage of it, and believe me, I am sorry about that.”

“You could have told me,” Danny nearly whispered.

Steve shook his head. “You wouldn’t have listened.” He sounded so certain, and Danny had to admit, he was probably right.

Danny felt like there were tears in his eyes, but they wouldn’t fall, they just clung there, blurring his vision. Steve smiled, and it was half sad and half sweet, and Danny felt something shift in his chest, and he knew he’d have to think long and hard about what had just happened, but he didn’t have the chance right now because Steve had pulled out his phone.

“Stay for pizza?” Steve asked.

Danny laughed, and his eyes started to clear. “Sure, babe. I’d like that.”

* * *

 

They ended up eating the pizza, right from the box, standing around the kitchen island—which worked out nicely because Steve could easily grab more beers, and they didn’t have anything to clean up after, which was good because Danny couldn’t stop thinking about the fact that Steve had said he’d play more later, and, well, Danny wanted to hear more. It had just been simple, relaxed—lazy almost—slack key, island style... and Danny usually tuned that stuff out, but something about how Steve had been playing it. Well, Danny was feeling a little silly, but it had seemed to him (and he was anxious to hear more and see if he still felt that), but it seemed to him that it sounded like the vulnerability Steve had talked about that night in Mr. Pickles’ apartment. And maybe it was crazy, but Danny kind of wanted to curl up in that sound, that feeling. So, yes, he was really hoping Steve would keep his word and share more with him. (And, okay, maybe he was including more _talking_ about it all in that sharing, but honestly, he was trying not to think about that too much.)

As they were eating (and, admittedly, drinking rather a lot as well), Danny kept surprising himself by not thinking about the things Steve had said. He knew he wanted to think about them, to figure them out, and once or twice, his mind, as it so often did, tried to start unraveling them, but something always stopped him. Maybe it was that Steve, having been alone for nearly four days, was having some kind of crazy talkative fit, and was regaling Danny with some rather strange stories of the dreams he’d been having, which itself was fascinating and probably also revealing if Danny’d had the wherewithal to find meaning in them.... Which he didn’t, but they were highly entertaining nonetheless. Honestly, it was just listening to Steve talk that was doing it to him. Somehow, when Steve spoke, Danny’s mind just quieted. He tried to think if that had ever happened before, because it sure didn’t seem familiar. In fact, Danny rather felt the opposite—that when Steve spoke, Danny tended to rile up, to fight against it, to argue back, to.... well. That had certainly been the habit, for the most part. Not that there hadn’t been times they’d shared some pleasant conversations over a beer. Sometimes some really deep and meaningful things. Over the years, and all the things they’d been through, they’d both shared some pretty crazy stuff—Steve always giving a bit more of a sense that there was more that he _wasn’t_ sharing, but still.

So, something was different. For whatever reason, tonight, Steve talking was equating to Danny’s mind shushing and listening. And he couldn’t puzzle over that right now (his mind simply wouldn’t function that way) but he had this odd inking that Steve’s notion about them needing time apart might have had something to do with it.... But before Danny could get any further down that path, they were done eating, and Steve was putting leftovers away, Danny folding up the box and taking it out to the trash, and when he came back in, Steve had put the kettle on for some coffee.

He was standing with his back resting against the counter, looking thoughtful, and more relaxed than Danny’d seen him in a long time. Not that kind of tense “relaxed” pose you typically got with the always on “alert” Navy SEAL. But, genuinely relaxed. Danny couldn’t help but think it looked good on him, and wished he’d manage it more often. Steve smiled when he saw Danny. Just a simple, sweet smile. But Danny felt slightly unnerved by it somehow. Like there was something lurking beneath it, Danny just couldn’t see it.

“I’m glad you came, buddy,” Steve said, as Danny walked closer.

Danny couldn’t help but smile at that. “Me, too, babe,” he replied, and, bumping up against Steve, Danny took up a spot leaning against the counter as well. Steve kind of leaned into him, just a little, and Danny felt comforted by it, almost as if the sense of calm Steve’s talking had given him was also being communicated through the touch.  _Huh_ , he thought to himself.  _That’s interesting_. Almost as he had the thought, the kettle whistled and Steve poured the water into the French press, adding it to a tray with two cups and a small pitcher of milk.

“Come with me,” Steve called, leading Danny back through the dining room and out to the lanai.

Steve’s guitar was sitting on the dining room table, and as they passed it, Danny longed to grab it, to force it into Steve’s hands, but he wouldn’t. Couldn’t. As much as he wanted to.... He knew Steve needed to choose that on his own. But it was hard, Danny admitted, to not push.

Still, he lingered, by the guitar, and when he stepped outside, Steve had poured his coffee and set it at “his” place, pushing the pitcher of milk towards it. Danny smiled and sat. Even after all this time, Steve still wouldn’t make Danny’s coffee for him. How many times had Steve watched how much milk Danny put in? How many times had he seen what Danny’s coffee looked like once he put milk in? And yet, still, Steve just wouldn’t take that step, make the assumption. Danny swallowed as part of his brain realized the correlation he’d just unwittingly drawn. When was the first time Rachel had poured milk into Danny’s coffee? Well. A certain special morning, of course. Danny sat. He tried not to fall into his chair, but his legs were suddenly feeling oddly weak.

Fortunately, coffee is well known for its ability to clear your head and make you focus on the task at hand, and that’s just what his first sip (once he added his own milk, of course) did.

Steve smiled a smile that was some sort of hybrid between a smile and a smirk, and Danny found he liked that mix. Sure the trademark Steve smirk got to him sometimes, but it was meant to, and the context of it was often what got to him as much as the smirk itself. But this was softer, sweeter, but still with that layer of Steve amused-contentedness, and yes, that amusement was typically at Danny’s expense, but if he was honest he didn’t always mind that. There’s something about bringing amusement to people you care for that sometimes makes up for any humiliation on your own part, and Danny wasn’t so small minded as to not be okay making himself the butt of a joke every now and then. Besides. He really liked to see Steve happy. That, he would absolutely admit.

For a while they just sat, drinking their coffee, listening to the waves, feeling the air begin to cool, the evening breeze start up. It was still early—Danny’d shown up around three? So it couldn’t be much later than five, but already it was cooling off, which Danny always enjoyed. He complained about the heat, yeah. But breezy island evenings, he had to admit, were lovely.

Strangely, Danny’s mind hadn’t quite kicked back in yet. Steve was still silent, but comfortably so. They’d had plenty of times like this as well—evenings and late nights, usually on the chairs down in the sand, with a cooler of beers... _huh_. Suddenly Danny’s brain decided to make something of that. Of the fact that Steve had had that very cooler of beers by his side on the lanai when Danny had shown up. Suddenly on alert himself, Danny couldn’t help but wonder if that had been a first? Or if Steve had had that cooler by his side every day of his vacation. Danny’s eyes pricked with moisture at the thought, but before he could think any more about it, Steve spoke.

* * *

 

“It’s the having your heart open,” Steve began. “I don’t know how you do it,” he sounded awed, but at the same time sincerely puzzled and more than a little frustrated. “It’s like you don’t even know that it’s open, it’s just there, exposed, for any one... to see? Feel?” He paused, sighed. “I don’t know, it’s just there. And it’s not like people don’t trample all over it, Danny, they do!” Now Steve was gathering steam, and Danny knew why—because he was talking about  _him_. “They do it all the time, but still you leave it out there, and you know? That kills me, watching that. Watching people take that... trust, that openness... and just break it. It just kills me.” Danny’s own heart wasn’t feeling too great either, because yeah, he knew Steve didn’t take that well. At all. But Steve wasn’t done: “And, yeah, it pisses me off, and I want to hurt them, hurt the people who abuse that, who abuse you. But, Danny, _you let them_.......” 

Ah. Suddenly Danny saw where this was going.

“Of course I let them, Steven,” he replied, borrowing that soft tone Steve had been using. “What am I supposed to do, keep my heart locked away so that no one can ever reach it?” And, yes, he knew exactly what he was saying, and knew Steve would too. “What kind of way is that to live life? Huh?”

Steve was so quiet, Danny was almost afraid he’d gone too far. But then Steve sighed. And this, Danny recognized. This was almost that same conversation. Only this time without the missing cat.

“It’s just what I know, Danny.” He paused, took a breath, looked out to sea. “It’s just what I know.”

“But, Steve, just because it’s what you know does not mean it’s what’s right for you.”

Steve looked like he just didn’t know what to say to that. Danny didn’t dare push it. So they sat for a while in silence, Danny trying, once more, to think things through, and finding he couldn’t. He wanted to remind Steve that he’d said he’d play more, but he didn’t dare push that either. Maybe Steve just needed some more time alone, to get his own thoughts straight. After all, that had gotten him this far.... Maybe it wasn’t the worst idea. He seemed to have read Danny’s mind, because after a little while longer, when they’d both finished their coffee, he sighed, then whispered.

“Danny, go home. Call your kids. Have a nice evening.” He paused. “But... Come surfing with me tomorrow?”

Danny smiled. “Sure, babe. Queen’s? After work. I’ll text you when I’m on my way.”

Steve hugged him and basically shooed him out the door. “Say hi to the kids for me,” he called as Danny headed towards the Camaro. For some reason that made Danny smile.

Fortunately, Danny had quite a drive home during which to think about what had and hadn’t been said. Unfortunately, he didn’t get very far in the thinking. He seemed to still be affected by the stilling quality of Steve’s presence that day. Which he still thought was, if not totally new, at least substantially different.

He called and talked with Grace and Charlie for longer than usual, which was really nice. It wasn’t something they did all that much, because they all tended to get so busy, but he decided he really needed to make more of an effort to talk to them more on the nights they weren’t with him.

Then he did some laundry, which usually helped get his thoughts in order. It didn’t seem to be working as usual, but he kind of didn’t mind.

Danny fell asleep trying to think about what had happened that evening. He just couldn't wrap his head around it. But he did have the most interesting dreams.....

It wasn't, of course, the first time he'd dreamed about kissing Steve. Besides. He was pretty sure everyone had dreamed about kissing Steve. He was also pretty sure there was some deeper meaning to it, some symbolism he just wasn't quite getting.

He thought about it as he waited for the coffee to brew (and started thinking seriously about getting a French press), he thought about it as he drank his coffee and browsed the news from home (even with his job, he never read the Hawaii paper, only the paper from home), he thought about it in the shower (in which he spent far too much time), he thought about it on the drive to work (which was dangerous, he knew—driving distracted was not good).

But he just couldn't come up with anything deep about it. The only thing that kept echoing in his head was "wish fulfillment," which he of course refused to listen to. 

Fortunately, the minute he walked into the office, Chin grabbed him and turned him around and out the door for a case.

At least he got to drive his car.

* * *

 

They got through the day mostly without incident. Danny joked that it was nice to know they’d wait for back up with Steve not there. Chin laughed, but there was something odd in the way he looked twice at Danny, like he was trying to figure something out. There was simply no room in Danny’s mind to even begin to contemplate that, so he didn’t. Only, at lunch—the team (minus Steve) at Kamekona’s, celebrating a case well solved—Kono gave him nearly exactly the same look. Danny decided it was a cousin thing and shoved the thought out of his head.

After lunch there was the inevitable paperwork, which Danny sped through with uncharacteristic vigor. He wanted to get to the beach. They’d seen the waves out there, at lunch, and it looked promising. Danny thought some good surfing might help clear his mind. That was his main interest, and anyone who tried to suggest otherwise would have been steadfastly ignored.

Steve was already there when Danny strode onto the beach, board under his arm, and he looked so relaxed and glowing, Danny had to stop for a moment and just enjoy it. He saw he wasn’t the only one admiring, and a pale young tourist (you could tell, because they were the ones in hats) got a nice glare from Danny for his trouble. He scampered off down the beach, looking back only once. Danny felt an odd sense of satisfaction for that and he didn’t even feel guilty.

“Hey, buddy,” Steve called when he saw him, and bounded over for a hug. “So glad you could come! How was work today?”

“Uh-uh-uh, Steven, we are  _not_  discussing work.” Danny scolded. “We are here to surf.” Steve smiled hugely at that, which made Danny’s heart glow strangely.

The waves were great that day, and Steve even left Danny alone more than he usually did when they surfed together. Danny tried not to feel a little put out by that, but the waves were so great, mostly he forgot about it and enjoyed being on the water.

Surfing definitely helped his mind clear. Once, in college, he’d done some serious hiking with friends over a break. At the top of a high peak, with the sharp breeze, the sun purer than he’d ever seen it, and some other magical something in the air, his head had never felt clearer. The closest he ever got to that at sea level was out on the waves. He really needed to do this more, he decided. Even just because it felt so good. It was probably the most freeing thing he’d ever felt.

Steve had brought the leftover pizza, so when they had their fill of the waves, they sat on the sand and ate cold pizza, washed down with beer of the “root” variety.

Danny laughed. “Pizza and root beer,” he said fondly. “They say you are what you eat? I think most of my childhood I  _was_  pizza and root beer.”

“Your mom let you have soda?” Steve asked, and it was one of those things that Steve sometimes came out with about his upbringing that stilled Danny’s breathing.

“Yeah, babe, probably too much. She wasn’t very good at restraining us,” he laughed again, and Steve looked... either envious or a little disappointed, Danny wasn’t sure.

“Pizza was a special treat at my house,” Steve confessed. “Mostly on nights mom wasn’t home and dad had to make dinner.” He smiled slightly at that. “Always pineapple and ham,” he said, smirking and watching Danny for his response.

“That is not pizza, my friend. No.” And maybe that was just the reaction Steve had wanted, because he was laughing, and the awkwardness that had briefly been hovering over them had gone.

“Well,” Steve said, standing up and holding out his hand to help Danny up. “I’m beat! Shall we?”

“Yeah, babe, good idea,” Danny said, and followed him off the sand.

Danny dreamed that night about surfing, which wasn’t surprising. They had all of Waikiki beach to themselves, the waves were huge and splendid, the sun glistened off the palms, the sand sparkled in the surf, and Steve never left his side.

* * *

 

That next afternoon, Danny was hanging out at home, doing some chores, drinking way too much coffee (hoping for some of that famous mental clarity), and generally thinking about  _not_  thinking about it all. He had some music on, maybe a little loud—hey, he didn’t really have that much time he got to listen to his music, okay? Steve’s taste in music.... well. We all know that story too well, don’t we. Charlie didn’t really like music unless it was a theme song for a cartoon. And Grace’s music Danny actually, maybe embarrassingly, liked just fine. But his music. The ones he could sing along with... he really didn’t listen to those too much anymore. So, he was. Loudly. He almost didn’t hear the doorbell. When he opened it, he kind of wished he hadn’t.

“Hi,” Catherine said, in that soft, understated way of hers, when Danny still hadn’t said anything after what felt like five minutes.

Danny was staring at her left hand. It was kind of hard to miss, he thought. It pulsed like a strobe light. And it wasn’t that it was a huge diamond, it was quite tasteful actually, but it was just... it wasn’t Steve’s, and that thought just was nearly impossible to get his head around.

“Danny, please,” she was whispering, pleading, and he didn’t know what she wanted, what she thought he could possibly do. He felt his knees go from beneath him, and her arm was around him, she was leading him to the sofa. “Shit, Danny, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

He wanted to laugh.  _He_  was  _not_  the one she should be apologizing to! But he couldn’t seem to breathe, let alone speak.

She got him on the sofa, then disappeared into the kitchen, returning after a bit with a glass of whiskey. He took it gratefully and downed it, sputtering afterwards, but able to breathe now. Unfortunately, he still couldn’t think.

“Danny, please say something.”

He looked at her, and he knew his face had to be a picture of incredulousness. He shook his head and wished for more whiskey. “Who? When? Where? ... _How?_ ” He finally managed.

She smiled ruefully. “That’s more like what I was expecting.” She took Danny’s hand. He looked down at it, at that ring. The ring that was not Steve’s.

“This will kill him, you know that.”

She smiled at that. Smiled! He was shocked. “No, it won’t.” A soft huff escaped her lips. “It won’t. He’ll think it should, but it won’t....” She bit her lips together, shook her head slightly, swallowed like she was holding back tears, but still she was smiling. “And I think you know why.”

He stopped breathing again. “What?” It was barely a whisper. He was amazed it was loud enough to be heard.

She closed her eyes and a single tear fell down her cheek. “Danny....” She squeezed his hand, and there was such tenderness there. “Oh, Danny.” She opened her eyes, and he was stilled by what he saw there. Her eyes were glistening. She wasn’t smiling anymore, but there was a dance of sparkle in those brown eyes that sent some odd thrill coursing through his body. Evidently she read plenty in his own gaze that put the smile back on her lips. She bit her lip again and started to laugh. “You  _do_  know. Can’t you finally admit it?” She blinked away the moisture in her eyes. “That day? The day you told me to stay.... I wanted to tell you then, since you were so blindly assuming it was me he wanted, but I had this stupid idea you would figure it out when I was gone. I thought for sure  _he_  would. That some time alone would clear his head and he’d finally realize....”

Danny almost laughed at that. Some time alone. Yeah. It did seem to have a reputation for clarifying things, he thought. “Why’d you come to me first?” Danny wondered aloud.

She smiled. “Because you need to be there when I tell him.” As though it were the most obvious thing in all the world.

Danny closed his eyes and nodded, admitting at least that was true. She squeezed his hand, and leaned in to kiss his cheek.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

They drove separately, even though Danny didn’t really trust himself behind the wheel at the moment, but Catherine insisted she would need “a quick getaway and leave you two to figure things out.” Danny still wasn’t entirely sure what she meant. Well. OK, that wasn’t maybe completely true. She was very clearly indicating that it was Danny and not Catherine with whom Steve had been in love this whole time. Danny just wasn’t sure he believed that. Steve pushed him away, kept him at a distance far too much for that to be as true as Catherine seemed to think it was. But even as he had those thoughts, something pulled at him, as if it were trying to show him something obvious he’d been missing. It was just as if his eyes couldn’t clear enough for him to see it. He shook his head and shut those thoughts away, focusing on the drive and the revelation that was about to play out. One he was still certain would break his best friend’s heart.

Steve’s smile could have lit up Waikiki on a Friday night. He lifted her and spun her around... it reminded Danny of a movie scene. He’d been expecting silence and storming and Danny needing to comfort them both, but instead, it was like the two of them were having some best friends secret celebration using words and gestures only they understood. Danny felt more than a little shut out. And more than a little puzzled. He’d really thought Steve would be crushed. As he was puzzling over this, Danny caught Steve’s glance, and he gasped. He’d never seen  _that_  look on Steve’s face before, and he was completely stilled by it. It was like time stood still, every breath Danny took seemed to take minutes. He felt hot and shivery at the same time.

Catherine caught the look on Steve’s face, and turned to look at Danny. She smiled hugely and started to laugh. Her expression clearly said “I told you so,” but her smile was warm and kind.

Steve was holding on to Catherine like he didn’t want to let her go, Danny thought. But she was trying to push him towards Danny. She whispered something in Steve’s ear, and he  _blushed_. He whispered something back and she laughed. Danny was, simply, stunned. 

Catherine finally won out over Steve (Danny was slightly envious of the power she had over him. _That could really come in handy sometimes_ , he found himself thinking—Danny always found trying to get Steve to do what he wanted like trying to get a wave to do what he wanted), and Steve walked over to Danny in slow motion. _It was just like in a movie_ , Danny’s mind repeated. He was very frustrated by the complete lack of helpfulness of his mind at the moment.

“Hey, buddy,” Steve said softly, and Danny could not, for all he was usually so good at reading Steve, he just could not tell anything at all from that tone. This, naturally, flustered and upset him. He stammered something unintelligible, which didn’t seem to bother Steve. “Isn’t it great?” He said. “I’m so happy for her, Danny.” Steve was trying to get through to Danny, he realized that much, but it was like there were waves crashing in his ears, he just couldn’t hear anything except static. Danny watched as Steve turned back to Catherine, as though asking for help.

She walked over and took Danny into a hug. “I guess it was maybe more that I needed him here for you,” she whispered into his ear. “Just give him some time, okay? He’ll prove it.” She pulled back and looked into Danny’s eyes, and he saw very clearly why Steve had been captivated by her. He could have easily fallen into those eyes too. “Trust me,” she said, hands on either side of his face, then she leaned in and kissed him on the lips, just lightly, as if somehow she were transferring something to him in that kiss. He almost wanted to melt into it, because it was comforting, soothing.... She smiled as though she’d read those thoughts, then she spun him around towards Steve and called over her shoulder “See you in a couple days!” and walked out the door.

Danny stumbled over his words but managed to ask what that was about.

“You’ll see,” was all Steve would say.

They stood there, awkwardly, for a few moments, Steve looking at Danny as though he were trying to figure out what he was thinking, which Danny could have told him wasn’t going to work, as he hadn’t the slightest idea himself.

After awhile, they grabbed beers from the fridge in silent agreement, and headed down to their chairs on the beach. Of course. What else would they do? The sun was already getting low in the sky. Half way through their first beers, Steve spoke.

“We were always friends first,” he said. “We fell into bed to comfort each other, which is never a good idea. It became easy, I guess. Easier than actually thinking about anything. Easier than admitting true feelings. Easier than being vulnerable.... Easier than admitting what I really wanted....” He was looking at Danny with such an open look, it took his breath away. And, Danny’d never really started breathing again, so that made it even harder for him. “She knew. I think I knew that. I think I hoped it wouldn’t matter.” He looked kind of sad, and sighed. “She figured out what I was planning to do, of course she did. I realize that now. That’s why she took that mission, that’s why she left when she did. She... I guess she thought I needed some time alone, so I could figure out what I really wanted....."

Danny didn't have anything to say. He didn't think there was anything he  _could_  say. Even if he'd wanted. Steve seemed to know this, somehow. Almost as though he'd anticipated it, Danny would have said. They sat quietly for quite a while, then Steve tried to rouse Danny.

They said goodnight on the lanai. Ordinarily they would have hugged, but they had very carefully not touched each other that day, and still they didn’t—held apart, it seemed to Danny, by the weight of realizations, of things still unspoken. It was simply too much. Danny felt very much that he needed some time alone to clear his head.  _Time alone_.... There was that phrase again. He needed cool air, he thought. Air he could really breathe. He hadn’t felt like he’d breathed deeply all day, and it was starting to really get to him....

 “Goodnight, Danny,” Steve said, waiting for him to leave.

Danny closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and smiled. “Goodnight, Steven.” And he turned and walked away.

The next day they didn’t even talk. Steve was back at work, but Danny had the day off to take care of some stuff with Charlie, and he had both kids that night, and that was enough to keep his mind—and his heart—busy.

That night he dreamed again, but this time it was different. Or maybe it wasn’t. Maybe he just wasn’t resisting it? It  _felt_  different. It felt like comfort and knowing and peace. He woke up feeling amazingly refreshed and clearheaded.

* * *

  

Danny and Steve were both at work that next day, but oddly they didn’t cross paths. Steve got called into a meeting with someone the Governor was trying to impress, Danny got stuck doing some extra paperwork, then Kono dragged Danny out to grab some lunch for the rest of the team, and while they were out Chin and Lou got called out for a case, insisting they didn’t need Danny and Kono. Steve evidently got taken out for lunch with the very impressed important people. So, Kono decided to hang out in Danny’s office and eat the food they’d gotten for everyone.

She brought a table in from somewhere and spread all the food out, buffet style. Danny was laughing at her.

“What? I’ve been surfing a lot. Builds up your appetite,” she grinned. “Here, try this one,” and she shoved a bit of something delicious in Danny’s mouth.

They continued like that for a while, laughing and eating, and Danny felt more relaxed and comfortable than he had in a while. Sometimes, Kono reminded him of his sisters, and he tended to soften at that. Unfortunately, he didn’t realize she’d figured that out, probably a few years back, and had known she could use that to her advantage.  

“So, Catherine’s engaged, huh?”

Danny froze, mid bite.

“Chin ran into her at Liliha this morning. Said the ring was hard to miss....” She trailed off, leaving room for Danny to jump in if he so desired. If he didn’t, he knew she’d keep going, until he had to say something.

Danny smiled the smile of one once again bested by a wily female.

“It’s a nice ring. Not overly showy, but very sparkly.” _There_ , he thought to himself, _will that do?_ Of course not.

“How’d Steve take it?” It was a leading question, and she knew it.

“He was thrilled, actually. Really happy for her. Glad she found someone, all that.”

Kono was eating a cookie like it was the most fascinating thing she’d ever seen.

Danny sighed. “Really, Kono. He’s good. I was worried, too, but he’s actually really happy for her.”

She looked at Danny as though that was not at all the answer she was looking for. He knew it wasn’t. But he was not going to give her what she wanted. He was well versed in this game, thank you. Growing up with sisters did not leave one unprepared.

Eventually she gave in, or seemed to. She smiled. “Good. I’m glad. I just want him to be happy.”

Danny was pretty sure there were some extra layers in there somewhere if he chose to look. He didn’t. He had enough layers on his own, thank you.

“Well,” Kono said, sweeping her gaze over the leftovers. “I’ll toss this all in the fridge for tomorrow, they won’t be back today, why don’t you head out and catch some waves? You look like you could use some time alone on the water.”

What was it with everyone wanting Danny to spend some time alone lately? But he knew she was right, so he didn’t argue. Instead he hugged her, kissed her cheek, and whispered “Thanks, Kono,” which he knew would tell her everything she wanted to know, but he didn’t really mind.

The waves were just as good as they’d been the other day (if not better), there were fewer people (it was earlier in the afternoon, so the after work crowd hadn’t shown up yet), the sun was softer (there were some clouds rolling in from the mountains, probably a little rain would come before nightfall), and Danny didn’t have nearly as good a time as he had the other day.

His head was clear. He saw why, saw what was missing. How could he not. He rode one last wave in, rinsed off, and drove to Steve’s house.

Steve was still not back from his meeting/lunch/clearly-into-cocktails "Impress The Important People" meeting. So Danny went round to the back to sit on the lanai and wait. He saw the cooler was still there, maybe Steve had just got in the habit of leaving it there. He looked inside and saw half-melted ice and still-cold beers. Huh, that was interesting, Danny thought. So he grabbed one and headed down to the chairs on the beach.

He sat with a heavy sigh, ran a hand over his hair, shook some salt water out, stretched his legs out into the still-warm sand, and took a big swig of his beer. He felt a bit of a lump in his throat as he swallowed, and he felt really tired, for all he hadn’t really surfed that much. He was still full from their smorgasbord lunch, so he knew it wasn’t lack of nourishment. He knew what it was. He sat watching the waves, resolve slowly building within him. The beer sat at his side, untouched after that one drink. He didn’t move, he didn’t pace, he didn’t fidget. With each wave, his certainty grew, so that by the time Steve showed up, holding his own beer, having changed into his trunks, carrying towels and a bag of chips, Danny had nothing left but the decision he’d been working towards since that morning.

“Hey, buddy!” Steve called. “I’m so glad you’re—”

But Steve never got to finish the sentence, because Danny’s lips were on his, and Steve dropped everything he was holding to wrap his arms around Danny and pull him in tight.

When Danny finally pulled back, the smile on Steve’s face was even better than the one Danny’d thought could light the city.

“Well.” He said eventually, when he’d let go of enough of the smile to be able to speak.

“Yeah,” replied Danny breathily. He pressed his lips together, still feeling the press of Steve’s on his own. Wanting more. He was staring at Steve’s lips, and he knew without looking that Steve knew and was smirking.

“I, uh, was going to go for a swim...?” Steve said, with veiled amusement.

Danny shook his head. Just slightly. Just once. But Steve caught it and Danny knew the smirk broadened.

“OK....” Steve replied. “Um. Hungry?” He tried.

Danny was still staring at Steve’s lips. And he was still full from lunch. He shook his head again.

Steve lowered his head so that Danny’s eyes would meet his. “Danny?” He asked softly.

Finally looking in Steve’s eyes, Danny smiled. “Yeah, babe?” He asked.

Steve pressed his lips together, and Danny wondered if he was missing Danny’s lips as much as Danny was missing his. “Would you like to, um....”

Danny nodded. He grabbed Steve by the hand and led him back up to the house. They barely made it inside the door before he was pushing Steve backwards, knowing he wasn’t up for stairs, turning the corner from the dining room and heading for the sofa. Danny turned around when they got there, and they fall back onto the sofa, in what felt to Danny like slow motion. He laughed, and pulled Steve against him. This was so much better than his dreams, he found himself thinking, which made him laugh even more. Steve pulled back, just slightly, smirk on his face, amusement dancing in his eyes.

“Kissing me is amusing you, is it?”

Danny bit his lips together. “Sorry, babe, it’s just....” But he trailed off, unable to complete that thought.

Steve collapsed beside him in a slightly awkward laugh of his own. “Yeah, I know.” He said, slinging an arm around Danny which in a way made things odder, because that was so familiar. They’d sat here, nearly like this, so many times. Just not with the kissing. And, you know, general theme of things. Danny reached up and held onto Steve’s hand, running his thumb along the rough skin. He felt his own skin break out in goose bumps at the thrill of being able to do that simple thing he’d so often longed to do.

Steve sighed into the caress, and Danny’s heart rate escalated even further.

"Should we maybe, you know, talk?" Steve asked after a while.

"Talk?" Danny replied, puzzled.

"Yeah, you know, use words, say things?" Steve chuckled.

"You want to _talk_?" Danny had stilled.

"Um, yes?" Steve responded, sounding perplexed.

"I've been trying to get you to talk for six years. I finally realize that what I really want is to kiss you. And now you want to talk."

Steve laughed. "Well, the kissing is nice, too."

"It's nice."

"Yeah,” Steve said slowly. “It's nice."

"Huh," Danny mused. He felt Steve tense beside him.

"Uh-oh," he said softly.

"Yeah...." Danny replied, pulling on his lip.

"Well, talking was nice.” Steve said, moving to sit up. “We can go back to the kissing now."

"Oh, you think so?" Danny huffed out a bemused laugh.

"Um. Yes?" Steve looked at him hopefully.

"You are such a jerk," Danny said, smiling and shaking his head.

"Admit it. You love it." The smirk was back, but it was slightly tentative.

"Huh. I'm not sure yet. I think maybe I need more of the kissing." And he pulled Steve in for another kiss.

"That can be arranged."

"I'm so glad."

This time the kissing escalated rather too quickly for laughing to become involved. As soon as the tugging at articles of clothing began, Steve took matters into his own hands and managed to move them upstairs to his bed. Danny had one tiny bit of him that almost wanted to resist— _moving too fast_ it whispered—but the rest of him drowned it out simply with the sheer wash of _finally!_ which roared through his head like the biggest wave he’d ever ridden. Sometimes, once you just give in and listen to that inner voice telling you what you really want, there’s just not much at all you can do to stop it. And Danny very much did not want to stop it. God, being with Steve was like... well. Danny’d been with some really powerful guys before, maybe he’d had a bit of a thing for that back in college, but this was Steve. He was powerful, of course he was. But he was also kind and gentle and surprisingly soft and tender. Even for as frantic as he knew they both felt, Steve took his time, almost reverently. Danny felt a little awkward with how in awe Steve seemed to be of his body. Meanwhile of course, a tiny part of Danny’s head (probably the part responsible for those dreams) was yelling _oh my god he’s gorgeous!_ Danny was a little afraid he’d say it out loud. There was another something he was very afraid he would not be able to keep himself from saying.... and sure enough, once they’d finished and Steve cleaned them up, again with amazing tenderness, he pulled Danny close, kissed the top of his head, and sighed so contentedly, Danny’s heart just felt like it would burst.

“I love you, babe,” he whispered. Because at that point, really. He might have held his breath, just a little, as he waited for Steve’s reaction.

“Huh,” Steve replied, slight edge of smirk plain in his tone.

“Huh, what?” Danny echoed Steve from before.

“Well, that works out nicely, because I love you, too.”

Danny huffed out a laugh, shook his head, and nestled further into Steve’s side, falling asleep faster than he had in a long time.

* * *

 

Even before he was fully awake Danny had the realization that waking up with Steve was going to take some getting used to. Because, of course Steve was one for morning sex. Of course. Although, Danny wasn’t really sure you could call this “morning.” He was pretty sure the sun wasn’t even up yet. But Steve sure was.....

Fortunately, Danny didn’t seem to need to do much, he didn’t even open his eyes until they were done, and he had to admit that was rather a nice way of waking up.

Much to his delight, things only got better when Steve got up to go make coffee. When he came back upstairs only holding two mugs, Danny’s heart skipped a beat. Sure enough. Steve did know exactly how much milk to put in Danny’s coffee. If Steve thought the kiss Danny gave him was out of proportion for having simply brought him coffee, he didn’t seem to mind. Danny knew in that moment that his whole life was about to change. He started to scold himself for being so emotional when they heard a sound that nearly stopped him cold.

“What was that?” Danny asked, putting his coffee down.

Steve looked almost sheepish. That was worrying.

“Hey, boys!” They heard. “I’m coming up, so you’d better be decent!”

Danny’s mouth dropped open. “Um....” was about all he could say.

Steve had clearly had foreknowledge, and had also clearly unlocked the door. He just smirked, of course, and rearranged the blanket to cover Danny. He himself had put shorts on to go downstairs, so he was “decent,” although Danny might have objected slightly to that label at the moment.

That had been, evidently to Catherine’s mind, enough time to ensure decency, and she appeared in the doorway with a telltale pink box and a huge smile nearly worthy of a Steve-level smirk.

“Morning!” She said brightly, and sat on the bed, opening the box and passing it to Danny. “I wasn’t sure which your favorite was, so there’s one of each.”

Danny looked at the malasadas, at Catherine, and at Steve. He literally was unable to form a sentence.

Steve laughed and picked one of the filled ones.... “Mmmm, pineapple?” He said as he bit into it.

Catherine laughed. “Of course you pick that one,” and punched him on the arm.

Danny was pretty sure he didn’t want to think about that. He picked his coffee back up and took another sip. Maybe that would help with the speaking of the words.

Steve eyed Danny carefully between bites of pineapple cream filled malasada. “It wasn’t a bet, if that’s what you’re thinking,” he said, softly.

Danny’s head tilted at that. “Actually,” he said, finally finding the ability to speak, “I wasn’t. But I am now.”

Catherine laughed and grabbed Danny’s foot through the sheet. “It was my fault,” she said. “Go easy on him.” She passed the box back to Danny, and he picked one without looking. “When I left you here with him, I was afraid he’d lose his nerve if nothing was riding on it, so I promised him I’d be back in a couple days to check on his progress. He said I’d better bring malasadas for you....”

Danny glared at Steve on that one. “Knew I was a sure thing, did you?”

Steve bit his lip. “I hoped....” he admitted.

Danny shook his head. He just didn’t know what to say, so he took a bite of the malasada he was holding far too tightly for a filled malasada. Macadamia. His favorite. Well.

“What’d you get?” Catherine asked, leaning in as if she would take a bite.

Danny shook his head in befuddlement. That seemed to be par for the course for him lately. “Macadamia,” he said softly.

“Your favorite!” Steve exclaimed happily, and licked the remaining pineapple cream off his fingers and reached for the box.

“Uh-uh, Steve,” Catherine scolded. “Go get me some coffee, would you?”

The sugar had evidently gone directly to his blood, and he actually saluted her. “Yes ma’am.”And he scampered off down the stairs.

Danny looked suspiciously at Catherine. He was not altogether sure he trusted her right now.

“Easy there, Danny. It’s okay. I just wanted a moment with you because I’m pretty sure no one is going to get you alone away from Steve for a good long while.”

Danny actually blushed. Something he had proudly not done for a very long time, thank you. Catherine looked like she appreciated that.

“Take good care of him, Danny. Promise me that. I know he’s not easy, god, I know he’s not easy. But he loves you so much. And he has for so long.... His heart is good. And he’ll give it all to you, you know that. Just... be patient with him. You know he’s worth it.”

Danny took a breath in to say something back, but she stopped him. “Don’t.” She said, softly. “I know. You don’t need to say it.” And she wiped the tears away as they fell down her cheeks. He grabbed her hand and squeezed, and she smiled and squeezed back. “Now, you know, my favorite is the chocolate....” And she picked the chocolate malasada up, just as Steve returned with her coffee... and the pitcher of milk.


End file.
